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17 March 2013 @ 10:49 am
Game Over: Chapter 8  
8/61



Wanderer: Hey, so, Eric refused to sit through this chapter with me, so we have a new guest! I couldn’t get Daryl, since he’s the love interest—gag—but I could do one better! I got Merle!
Merle: You still ain’t explained what exactly I’m doing here, sugar tits.
Wanderer: We read the story, and pull apart stuff that wouldn’t happen and doesn’t make sense.
Merle: Alright. Don’t sound too hard then. But you owe me. Got better shit to do.
Wanderer: *mumbles something that sounds a lot like “Like what?”* Let’s just get this started


KAIYA'S POV:

"You know what I hate?"

Wanderer: When little girls complain about everything. This story. How much you butcher the characters. Pimples. That time of the month. Having to kill your parents. Logical failures…
Merle: Wait, how old is this girl?
Wanderer: Sixteen.
Merle: … there wasn’t no teenage girls in the group.
Wanderer: Nope! She just inserted the character there. It happens, you should get used to it.


I asked Amy, sitting across from her at the table inside the RV. I was grateful no one was around; I needed girl time.

Merle: *snort* Y’aint gonna get much of that time with blondie.

"What?" she asked, smiling and looking up from watching the campers out the window.

"Being 16!" I whined, banging my head down onto my folded arms.

Wanderer and Merle: *crickets chirping*
Wanderer: Why do you make such a big deal about your age when your main love interest is significantly older than you?! STOP BRINGING IT UP IT JUST REMINDS EVERYONE HOW CREEPY IT IS.
Merle: *eyeing Wanderer askance* Who the fuck ends up with jailbait?
Wanderer: You’ll see.


She laughed and said, "I'm assuming this has something do to with someone whose name rhymes with Will Ferrell?"

Merle: … The fuck? The only person’s whose name rhymes with that is—
Wanderer: Take a deep breath, Dixon.
Merle: THIS LITTLE JAILBAIT BITCH IS AFTER DARYL?! THAT’S FUCKING HILARIOUS!
Wanderer: *rubbing her temples*


I nodded hesitantly, face still under the cover of my arms.

Wanderer: Wait, hold up. I just realized that this means even the fucking author realizes there’s something wrong with pairing the Daryl up with a main character that is 16-years-old. That just makes this a whole level of creepy. Why would she continue to write this if it’s already a problem? I AM SO GROSSED OUT.
Merle: *wiping tears of mirth* Guess she figures ‘Any port in a storm’ for Darlena, huh? Poor thing don’t even know he’s still a virgin.


OLD ENOUGH FOR A REAL MAN: 7

She giggled.

"He's 28!" I said, my words muffled by the fabric of my black and red hoodie.

Merle: Try adding a few more years, jailbait, and you’ll be a lot closer. Hell, I’m in my fifties. The fuck they think our parents did waiting so long between?
Wanderer: Well there’s a significant enough age difference that you practically raised him.
Merle: *glares* Don’t talk about shit you don’t know nothin’ about.


Amy snorted. I looked up, shocked to hear such an un-girly-like thing

Wanderer: Because in the like 30 minutes total of screen time we see of Amy, she’s SUPER DUPER lady-like. What with wiping her dirty hands on her pants, fishing, and complaining about being out of toilet paper. So girly.
Merle: … Ain’t the phrase “ladylike” anyway?
Wanderer: Thank you, Merle.


GRAMMAR NAZI: 20

like that come from her. "Welcome to the apocalypse. The same rules don't apply here as in normal society," she said, leaning forward and smiling.

Wanderer: … DID YOU JUST HAVE AMY BRUSH AWAY A 12-YEAR AGE DIFFERENCE WITH THE ‘IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD EVERYTHING’S DIFFERENT’ EXCUSE? REALLY? This is literally like 3-days after the end of the world happened—
Merle: What?
Wanderer: Yeah, the author wrote that Atlanta fell in one day.
Merle: *just shaking his head*
Wanderer: Anyway, as I was saying! The world just ended 3 days ago! Amy is still asking Andrea if she thinks their parents are okay in Florida, saying “maybe Florida didn’t get hit so bad”! THERE’S NO WAY IN FUCK SHE WOULD JUST THROW OUT MORAL VALUES AND SOCIETAL BELIEFS WHEN NO ONE KNOWS THE WORLD HAS COMPLETELY GONE TO SHIT! NO ONE EVEN KNOWS IT’S GLOBAL YET! THEY DON’T KNOW THAT UNTIL THE CDC!


BUTCHER CHARACTERIZATION FOR THINE OWN INTEREST: 15

KNOW YOUR GODDAMN FANDOM: 11

LOGIC FAIL: 18

"Ah, but you're forgetting… We live with a cop,"

Merle: *sneers* Fucking pigs
Wanderer: Besides, what the fuck is Shane gonna do? ARREST DARYL? And, ugh, I looked it up. Technically the legal age in Georgia is 16. BUT IT’S STILL FUCKING GROSS FOR A GUY IN HIS MID-THIRTIES TO BE FUCKING AROUND WITH ONE.
Merle: It’s legal? Well shit, the South is more fucked up than I thought *smirking*


I said, pointing out the window to where Shane was standing talking to Carl and Lori. "And besides, its not

Wanderer: What’s a “not” and how does it own one? Is it like a “knot”?

GRAMMAR NAZI: 21

like he would ever think that way about me or feel that way or anything."

Wanderer: Especially since he has trust issues and major problems dealing with his emotions. And he probably hasn’t felt emotionally attached to any woman ever. He has very low self-esteem and he’s a LITTLE preoccupied with focusing on, oh, I don’t know, survival. NOT FUCKING.
Merle: How do ya know Daryl so well?
Wanderer: … None of your business.
Merle: *glares suspiciously*


And out comes the pessimism!

Wanderer: Because you’ve been SUCH a ray of sunshine and a ball of joy this entire time up until now. 

Amy rolled her eyes, grin still in place. "Whatever you say," she stood and walked out of the RV.
I sat confused for a moment, before getting up and rushing to follow her. "Wait! What does that mean?"

Merle: Yeah, what does that mean, ya brat? You sayin’ my brother is into snot-nosed kids? Because he might be a virgin but he ain’t fucking desperate!
Wanderer: Whoa, Merle, calm down. Amy’s dead, and the author is clearly ruining the personality of everyone. Your head will explode if you keep this up.

DARYL'S POV:

The brotherly moment between Merle and I

Merle: …”brotherly moment”? *sounds disgusted*
Wanderer: Daryl chased you around and you wrestled with him.
Merle: The wrestlin’ might’a happened, but usually if I’m drunk and he’s trying to stop me from doing what I wanna do.
Wanderer; Right…
Merle: Also, what docks?
Wanderer: The author thinks the quarry had docks.
Merle: *snort*


down by the docks was a rare occurrence and I hoped Kaiya knew enough not to go running her mouth to all these damn idiots.

Wanderer: You were doing it in plain view of everyone who bothered to look.
Merle: Now that sure as hell wouldn’a happened. We kept to ourselves, Daryl and me. Didn’t go near the group unless we was bringin’ in food.


BUTCHER CHARACTERIZATION FOR THINE OWN INTEREST: 16

She was a nice girl. Cussed like a sailor, but she was a nice girl. I would never tell Merle that, though. He would think I'd gone soft.

Merle: Hit yer head is more like it… Has he been taking my drugs?
Wanderer: *gigglesnort*
Merle: The fuck was that noise?
Wanderer: Nothing, nothing~


I sat on the chair just outside our tent and wiped every bolt I had for my crossbow till it was spotless.

Wanderer: I’m pretty sure unless he’s recently used them, they’re clean, so there’s no reason to wipe them.

I glanced up and saw Amy and Kaiya standing near her

Wanderer: Her, who? Both Amy and Kaiya are females, and they both qualify for the feminine pronoun. So who is this one referring to? Yay for vague pronouns.
GRAMMAR NAZI: 22

and Glenn's tent, talking animatedly about something or another. Her hair, now dry, was back up in a ponytail and there were small groups of hairs that hung by the side of her face and only reached to just below her chin.

Wanderer: Which means she left them out on purpose. Because depending on how high she pulls the ponytail—and I would assume she pulls it up high enough to actually get it out of her neck—then that length should fit in it. Also I think the author meant “wisps of hair” instead of calling them groups, because now I’m just imagining chunks of hair hanging by the side of her face. This is also the first we’ve hear about there being hair that doesn’t fit in the ponytail…
Merle: You talk a lot…
Wanderer: I just find it weird that Daryl is over-describing a girl’s hair.
Merle: … Yeah, yer right. Carry on.
Wanderer: I think if this continues, it might start a new count…


It was starting to get dark. I wandered over to the tree line and started to go in the woods to start watch

Merle: Watch was done from the top of the fuckin’ RV.

KNOW YOUR GODDAMN FANDOM: 12

when I heard a female's voice call my name.

I turned to see Kaiya jogging up to me, Amy grinning at her from her spot by Glenn's tent.

"Yeah?"

She stopped just in front of me. "I wanted to say thank you for today. I don't know why, you didn't do
much besides throw me into the water

Merle: HE THREW HER IN THE WATER?!

 and listen to my canine confessions

Merle: HE LISTENED TO HER BLABBERIN’?

, but…" she smiled. "It was fun. You saved me from dying of boredom. And about you and Merle," she lowered her voice. "I'm not gonna tell anyone if you don't want me to."

Merle: She better fuckin’ not if she knows what’s good for her! Who the fuck is this guy pretendin’ to be Daryl?
Wanderer: That’s a pretty damn good question. I hadn’t even thought about it, but Daryl shies away from touching people. He didn’t even like when Carol saw him without his shirt after he got impaled by that arrow. So why the FUCK does this author think he would ever PICK HER CHARACTER UP and CARRY HER to throw her in the water?!


BUTCHER CHARACTERIZATION FOR THINE OWN INTEREST: 17

I nodded once. "Good. 'Cause if ya do, I'll feed ya to a walker."

She nodded, knowing I was joking despite the straight face.

Merle: That’s not a fucking joke.

I turned back around and started to search the perimeter.
AMY'S POV:

Wanderer: HOW MANY PERSPECTIVES ARE WE GOING TO GO THROUGH? AND WHY DID WE EVEN HAVE TO GO THROUGH DARYL’S? WE WOULD’VE GOTTEN THE SAME INFO FROM KAIYA’S. Except she couldn’t have stared at her own hair.
Merle: *sneering*


I watched Kaiya talking to Daryl and couldn't help but smile.

Wanderer: … So poor Amy has been delegated to the position of Wingman in this fic, or Wing woman. How delightful. As if her presence wasn’t brief enough already, why not belittle her character even more by making her own purpose to praise the OFC as she hooks up with the love interest. I’m gonna puke.
Merle: *moves his chair a foot away* Not on me, you ain’t.


She seemed to be the only one who could actually talk to him; no one else had tried for fear that he had the same temper as Merle.

Wanderer: Well ain’t that a lovely oxymoron. Either no one else can get through to Daryl except Kaiya-Sue, or everyone else is afraid to try because of Big Bad Merle. You can’t say that no one can get through if NO ONE ELSE HAS FUCKING EVEN TRIED.
Merle: I wish this jailbait bitch had left us well enough alone.
Wanderer: I wish the kid in her Spanish class had eaten her first.


I ARE SPESHUL SNOWFLAKE: 26

Everyone thought he was just as bad as his brother, but Kaiya talked to both of them.

Wanderer: Which proves nothing, really.

I ARE SPESHUL SNOWFLAKE: 27

I had seen her chatting with Merle on occasion, but only for a few short minutes. When she was with Daryl, it was more than just a few minutes. Like today at the dock.

Merle: There’s no dock!

That might have been the first time I had seen him smile. Not just a smirk or a tiny little grin. He had actually smiled. It seemed out of place on his face, but in a good way.

Merle: Daryl can smile! He just ain’t got time to do that pussy shit around strangers! And why should he? The world’s gone to shit and we gotta survive! These girls are fucking stupid, nannering on about who talks to who and smiling and bullshit. This is the end of the world, not fuckin’ high school.
Wanderer: *wipes tear* That was beautiful, Merle.


So Kaiya was not only the only person that could talk to him or his brother, she was also the only one that could make him smile so far.

Wanderer: OH MY FUCKING GOD! BECAUSE SHE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS FUCKING TRIED! JESUS H. CHRIST! This counts as fucking 2!

I ARE SPESHUL SNOWFLAKE: 29

It made me a little sad to think that they would never be a couple.

Wanderer: I’M LAUGHING. Ugh fucking foreshadowing. You’re doing it wrong.

Because, although I knew Kaiya liked him, I knew he probably didn't think that way about someone 12 years younger than him.

Wanderer: *eyetwitch*

And Kaiya was right, we lived with a cop who would never let that happen.

Wanderer: *small convulsion*

I looked over at Shane who was watching the two converse and frowned.

I never thought I'd say this, but Merle is right: Damn pigs.

Wanderer: WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK? SHE’S CALLING THEM A DEROGATORY SLUR JUST BECAUSE SHE THINKS SHANE IS GONNA GET IN THE WAY OF DARYL AND KAIYA’S ~*TWU WUV*~?! WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK IS THIS?! THIS IS AS BAD AS TWILIGHT! ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE WRITTEN IN THE SAME VOICE! IT’S ALL KAIYA! AAHHHH!

BUTCHER CHARACTERIZATION FOR THINE OWN INTEREST: 18

LOGIC FAIL: 19 (for her suddenly hating cops because Shane might get between Daryl and Kaiya)

Merle: *had been smug that someone else had called Shane a pig* What, she’s mad at that? Fuckin’ bitch. That ain’t a reason to hate on Shane, especially not when the asshole has so many other better reasons! Fucking idiotic kids. I’m leavin’! Where’s that whiskey you promised me?
Wanderer: *pulls a bottle of Southern Comfort from behind her back and hands it over*
Merle: Much ‘bliged *tips imaginary hat and wanders off*
Wanderer: Ugh… I need a drink, too.


BUTCHER CHARACTERIZATION FOR THINE OWN INTEREST: 18
GRAMMAR NAZI: 22
I ARE SPESHUL SNOWFLAKE: 29
KNOW YOUR GODDAMN FANDOM: 12
LOGIC FAIL: 19
OLD ENOUGH FOR A REAL MAN: 7


Chapters Remaining: 53